If You've Been Stuck In The Pause, This Is For You
I had thought that I was gaining momentum back in August. It felt like everything was finally clear; I knew what I was doing, and my energy was vibrant enough that I thought I was ready to be seen. But then I was met with a flare-up of my mast cell disorder, Mastocytosis, and the distinct lack of will or motivation to do anything.
I am still ready to be seen, and I do have clarity on my direction. Even if that direction feels scary to me. I've needed to be in the pause so that I could recover and adjust to a new medication, and also to prevent me from going full steam ahead in a direction I'm realizing was incomplete. So that I could come to terms with what I am really doing here, or more specifically, what I am here to share.
Or, I suppose, who I am here to share.
I channel an angelic entity called The Lightwing. I mention them every so often, but I’ve pulled back from going deeper into who they are, where they’re from, and what their purpose is. I’m laughing at myself as I write this, from the kitchen table in the mountain house, where I first worked with a friend to channel them for a project that I called “Five Questions with The Lightwing.” I can’t remember how far we actually got with that project, but I’ll revisit it. I suspect there are things there that I would like to share, even if I’m unclear on the format it will take.
I sat with my inner voice and asked what my purpose really is. It’s been haunting me because it isn’t something I’ve put much thought into, and I need to understand it so I can root in and do the work with it. What came through is that I’m meant to bring inspiration to others through my messages, storytelling, and my light. It isn’t about one specific why, beyond illuminating what’s currently shrouded in darkness for humanity. I have always been a truth seeker and a storyteller – it’s one of the reasons I studied journalism in the first place – and that’s exactly what I’m here to do, but channeling it through what my inner voice, or highest self, calls my "beam of light" rather than strictly through research or expert interviews.
The pause, as it turns out, was for this: to more clearly share and name The Lightwing in my work.
I think I’ve avoided this for so long because it all feels a little much. A little over-the-top and also “is she fucking crazy?” The thing is, and as I said in my Substack note, I have no problem holding multiple realities, so there’s the part of me that says, “Hey, it’s really cool that I have this connection with an angelic entity.” And another that says, “It’s possible that this is just a facet of my inner voice.”
It's been hard to ignore that I’ve been feeling the pull to create more content with and about them. Giving in to the pull, I started asking more questions about their origins and did some research based on their guidance. I went down a rabbit hole researching where they claim to reside, within Sirius, and it led me to discover that there was an entire CULT created for them, though their name was never used. The group ended in death and destruction under the belief that it would bring the cult's members to the ascended masters. This discovery explained my natural inclination to study cults and the fear I have around inadvertently creating one.
However, The Lightwing has suggested that I share their stories like one shares folklore, from a place of storytelling rather than treating them like historically accurate beings. I think this could be really fun as long as no one takes it too seriously, and I also think this approach takes the concept of worship out of the mix and encourages everyone to take what resonates and leave the rest.
Anyway, it was reaffirmed for me through my inner voice conversation that when I share The Lightwing's messages, I'm channeling their healing frequencies and their blue light through my voice, which is part of why my Psychic Consultations are so powerful. When I read your energy field and timelines, this is the same source the answers to your questions come from. It isn't just about the message that comes through, or the visuals that I share, but the energetic impact and the healing available through those transmissions.
Truths in and of themselves are healing.
A Channeled Message from The Lightwing
For the woman who is starting out, starting fresh, and feeling lost or stuck in the abyss.
There's need for rest more than there's need for creativity or work. The time is coming for all of that, but what you really need is to restore your energy and vitality for what's to come.
Don't worry about being in this pause. For as long as it has gone on, you've been learning about yourself, what works, and what you really want.
All of this is in Divine Timing, as hard as it can be to see it that way right now.
It's been hard to watch others find success while you feel like you've been stuck in the pause.
What you've been watching is fleeting, however. Success born of brute-force desire is not the same as what you're calling in and what you were born for. When all things shift, you'll watch those stars burn out in the fires they've built from twigs and kerosene.
Be patient a while longer. Your time is coming.
You will shine brighter than you ever have before. You'll draw from something far greater than your will, and the sustainability of that essence is unmatched.
The Shining Stars Will Need To Pivot
This message could feel anxiety-inducing for those who feel like they've been doing well while others are feeling stuck in pause or trapped in the void. I think it's important to note that there are plenty of creators and service providers who have hit their stride from a sustainable place.
However, there are plenty of others who are riding the wave of success and can feel that they're gassed out, that what they've built and how they've built it isn't, in fact, sustainable. My sense is that there is an aspect of denial for many of them, but the ones who acknowledge this will have an easier time taking a small step back to reassess. They already know what isn't working for them, and if they take a pause, the truth of what they either need to let go of or start doing will flow very easily to them.
Simply put: if that's you, burnout isn't a requirement, but taking a step back to assess and put true logs on the fire that you've built is imperative.
Clear What Isn’t Yours
Most of what's in your head was never yours. The Daily Meditation walks you through each of your Human Design energy centers, releasing what you absorbed and shielding your energy field until your own inner voice has room enough to be heard.
