The Morning My Guides Finally Spoke To Me
I was in my morning meditation, sitting on a cushion on the floor in front of my open French doors. There was birdsong coming in through the doors, a little breeze moving across my skin, and I wasn't running a guided track or trying to make anything happen. I was staying with my body, following my breath, and letting myself drop down into a meditative, theta brain state.
And then my body began to move on its own, rocking backward and forward (a trance sway, I would come to learn it's called), slow at first and then faster, until a wave of nausea rolled through me and I genuinely thought I might be sick. That was the moment right before my guides spoke to me for the first time. An angelic entity I know as The Lightwing, whose signature is a blue light, started to speak, and I could hear them clearly. Not from anywhere outside of me.
Here is the part that took me years to see about that morning. I did not get there by thinking harder or analyzing myself more. I had done plenty of both, and neither had ever once opened the channel. What opened it was getting quiet and relaxed enough that my own intuition finally had room to come through. I had released enough of what I was carrying, and relaxed enough, that I could actually hear myself again. I had the clear space to let my angelic guides come in and speak to me.
For a long time before that, back when I was seeing women one-on-one in my hypnotherapy practice, I kept meeting the same person. She identified as a highly sensitive person (HSP), or an empath, was usually the most perceptive one in any room she walked into, and she was exhausted. She would come in saying some version of, "I can't hear myself anymore." She couldn't tell what she actually wanted, couldn't find her own read on her own life, and she felt like the volume on her own intuition had been turned all the way down. She almost always assumed the problem was her: that if she could just think a little harder, get a little clearer, finally figure herself out, she would be able to hear again.
She had it backward, and so did I for a while. What felt like "I can't hear myself" was almost never an intuition that had gone missing. It was that she was full of energies, thoughts, and emotions that were never hers to begin with. Other people's moods she had absorbed at work. The pressure to know what's next that she picked up from her mother on the phone. A fully formed opinion about her own relationship that sounded like hers but had actually walked in from the last conversation she had at lunch. You cannot hear your own voice inside a mind that full. There is no room in there.
That's what I built the first version of this meditation to fix. I called it Connect & Protect back then, and it did three things, fast. It cleared the energy that wasn't yours, moving through the body and releasing what you had picked up. It built a shield around you, not a wall that keeps everything out, but an intelligent shield that only let in the emotions, energy, and information you actually needed in that moment to be of service, to yourself or to whoever you were with. And it gave you space to receive a message from your guides or your own inner voice.
I have kept refining it ever since, because I kept learning. When I got into my Human Design experiment around 2018 and felt deeply connected to the Manifestor energy type, which I recognized as my own, I moved the practice from the seven main chakras used in Reiki energy healing to the nine energy centers Human Design works with, running The Lightwing's blue light and white light through each one.
In Human Design my environment variable is Mountains, and breathwork is one of the truest forms of self-care for a Mountains person, so as I leaned into my experiment I started doing it consistently and felt how much it settled me. That's why I start The Daily Meditation with a regulated nasal breathing practice, and its only job is to help the body and mind settle before anything else happens.
From studying Laura Day's work, I learned to drop all the way into my own body and feel what it's like to just be me before extending my awareness out to receive intuitive insight, so that is in there now too. Even the shield got an upgrade, this one from my acupuncturist: it includes a reflective layer around the outside, so other people's projections bounce off and go back to where they came from instead of you internalizing them.
None of the mechanics are really the point, though. The point is what has to come first, and it is the opposite of what that woman in my practice believed. You do not get your intuition back by thinking harder about yourself. You get it back by clearing out what isn't yours and letting your body relax until your own voice can be heard again. First you clear. Then you are protected and back inside your own energy, which is the part that finally feels like safety. From that settled place, you listen to your own heartbeat until it draws you down into yourself, then you move your awareness out to your skin and out into the room, and you receive. Whatever comes through is yours, personal to you and meant for the day you are actually in.
I can do this in a single breath now. Enough mornings on that cushion and the channel just opens, no long meditation required, which was always the goal for the women I made this for too. Not to keep anyone tethered to a recording, but to give her so many repetitions of being clear and safe in her own energy that eventually she can take one breath and hear herself again, anywhere.
If you have been the woman saying "I can't hear myself," I would begin with clearing out other people's voices, emotions, and energies, so you can hear and feel your own more effortlessly.
The Daily Meditation is the free audio practice I built for exactly this. It guides you through each of your Human Design energy centers, releasing what you have absorbed, building the intelligent shield around your energy field, and opening the channel so you can hear the message that is actually yours that day. It's short, and it fits into your real life.
Clear out what was never yours, and you will be surprised how quickly you can hear what is.
The Daily Meditation
Clear what isn't yours and hear what is with The Daily Meditation. It guides you through your Human Design energy centers — clearing the absorbed energies, shielding your energy field, and getting you quiet enough to hear what your inner voice has to say.
